I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
