Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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