My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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