I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
