my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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