I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Fuck appropriateness.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
