dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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