we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
