dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
