im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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