would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
