Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
