what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
