normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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