My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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