I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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