I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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