Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
