I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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