i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
