you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
