we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
