I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
