Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
