Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
