Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
