If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
