Already got asked if we're dating
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
