sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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