Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
