google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
