If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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