I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
