I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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