I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
