thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
