I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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