she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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