And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
