Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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