can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
whose parrot is this?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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