Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize