If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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