Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
