I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
