So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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