New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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