So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
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Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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