Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
