i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
