It's Friday. Sex?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
In America we eat man semen.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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