I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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