Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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