i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
