well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Drunk is not a location!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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