He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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