pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
