K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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