You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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