Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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