I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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