i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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