Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
