I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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