I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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