the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
