yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
