Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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