Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
